Use a chat session instead

Over the last decade or so help desks have been sent overseas.

This often means bad and echoey lines of communications and strong accents that are very hard to understand. This is especially true if you are already stressed about your account being hacked, email offline or your bank account frozen.

So, just like my Cheese and Apple Pie, this is a recipe for disaster.

So to combat this companies have started bringing help desks back on shore and I can cheerfully announce they are clear, fast , reliable and… 

No of course they aren’t. 

What they have done instead is they have been deploying phone menus that take you through 400 different choices that are designed to get you so mad you hang up. If  you do stick it out, a wait of 30 mins listening to Greensleeves, you are reminded every 5 seconds that you could be doing this on this on their website. And, after the wait and you have painstakingly given your account number, name, address and phone number, you are asked by the human on the other end what your details are again. Then and only then, are you are told you have the wrong department and the process starts again.

So to avoid this, and remember you have been cajoled into this, you go to their website and immediately you are presented with a chat session that is run by a BOT that turns out to be about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

The 1970’s band Hot Chocolate insisted that “it” started with a kiss, but in these cases it starts with a small bubble (usually in the bottom right hand corner of the web page) offering a chat, or a talk or something along those lines.

Or sometimes it will be buried deep within the Contact US section of the website.

Right about now you might be thinking that buying a brand new machine or actually immigrating would be easier than getting help from businesses in this country. But what if I told you that there is a way to use the chat session to get quick service, accent and echo free?

Traditionally you are welcomed with something along the lines of “Hi, I am Amanda, how can I help you today.” This is an automated AI program typically referred to as a BOT.

Rather than go around in every decreasing circles of diminishing logic, what you want to do is chat with a person instead so just type the word “Human”

Be warned, the BOT will press on but every time your response should be the word “Human”

Eventually the BOT will give up and respond with “Putting you through to service representative.”

There, you have won!

Now, just type what you need and want and it will be clear and unambiguous. And better yet, if you feel like you need to, you can save the transcript to a text file in case you need to prove a mistake has been made.

Oh, and click here for that Cheese and Apple pie recipe. Enjoy. Not!